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February 6, 2008
Aaron is starting preschool TOMORROW and I am a nervous wreck! I've been putting together all the things they need like an extra set of clothing and picking/cutting out a picture for his cubbie. AAHHH... my son will have his OWN CUBBIE! I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight worrying and thinking about how tomorrow will go. Will Aaron cry when we leave him there? Will he resent us forever for abandoning him? Will he make friends? Will he like his teachers? Will he be frustrated when he is misunderstood for asking for his "ah-bah" (daddy) or wanting more "ca-ca" (crackers) or telling his teachers that he is "wah-shuh" (right here). And the biggest one... will he have a pee-pee accident on the very first day of preschool?
That's one thing that I've been extremely frustrated with lately. He's been having an accident almost every single day. He was doing GREAT for the last 5 months then suddenly the last two-three weeks, he doesn't want to go pee pee in the toilet. He waits to the very very last second to go and will most often leak in his underwear. I'm not sure how to respond. I wonder if turning 3 and having his birthday party and getting his new big boy bed and all the talk and prepping him for preschool has caused some anxiety for him??????
Well, we'll see. I think I'm more nervous than he is since he probably doesn't completely understand what a HUGE step this is in his life. We will pray for a good day and many more to follow, for only a few tears (maybe more by me), for good friends and loving teachers and that he will know always that we love him and we will always come back to pick him up.
January 30. 2008
We had dinner with my parents today and it wasn't quite the witty repartee that we usually enjoy. In fact it was just down right depressing. It was like having dinner with Debbie Downer from those skits on SNL played by Rachel Dratch WAH WAH WAH!
So my dad started out the evening with this heartwarming conversation starter... "You know, I don't think I can make it to Aaron's birthday party this Saturday because... you know my friend from church... he died... TODAY!" WAH WAH WAH!!
Then he followed that up with another encouraging story... "I called to make an appointment with one of my doctors and I found out... he DIED! I was so shock!" WAH WAH WAH!
Then he did lighten things up with the story about his other doctor, a close family friend for many years, who actually was the one who diagnosed/treated me for malaria after 2 other doctors had misdiagnosed me and I was near death... "Did I tell you about Dr. Lim? [I blurt out... HE DIED... because that's the only conclusion I can come to with how this evening has been going] "NO NO! He had a heart condition and need an operation and because he works for UCLA, he got a heart transplant and he's STILL ALIVE. Can you believe it?"
But then before the night was over, he did end with this one last story... "Do you remember my friend Mr. Kwon? You've been to his house before... you know he DIED, too!"
Wowzers, if it wasn't for the glass of wine I had with dinner, I might be really depressed right now. Turning 30 this year has made me think a lot about death. While I'm actually excited to turn 30 and be done with my 20s, I can't help but think that there's nothing left to look forward to in life except death. Which then I think would be a wonderful thing because we would be in heaven with our Father and nothing else would matter and this helps me to refocus my life and thoughts and set my sights heavenward...
January 25, 2008
I went grocery shopping today and I went a little overboard on the sweets. I NEVER buy sweets/treats/chips/soda when grocery shopping. I really mean NEVER! I don't like having it in the house just for my own self, Seong and now Aaron. But today, I needed a stress reliever following a stressful week so I took Aaron grocery shopping (something that we really enjoy doing together, just a special time with just the two of us) and I bought... a carton of peanut butter cup ice cream, a container of snickerdoodle cookies from the bakery section, another container of chewy chocolate cookies with chocolate chips, AND a box of glazed donut holes. Seriously, what is wrong with me. These are the things I crave constantly these days.
But now that I'm home and it's after dinner and getting into the wee hours of the night when my cravings start, I suddenly and desperately want some fried chicken! Just something salty/savory. But I having nothing of the such in the house without having to cook it! ARG!
Well, I think that I am finally weaning Micah so hopefully all these cravings will stop soon!
January 19, 2008
This is something that I've never publicly written about yet have been secretly living with this shame for sometime now. Some of my close friends know exactly what I'm talking about, but now I'm ready to share with the three others of you that may still read this site.
So for the past year, Aaron has been sleeping in OUR bed with us every night. It came to a point where we had to actually move his crib into our tiny bedroom. This was mainly because he kept falling off our bed during the middle of the night... our large, raised king sized bed with the pillow top mattress, I swear it's like 4 feet high. Now, the shame isn't in the fact that he's been sleeping with us. I know many people chose to have their children sleep with them. The family bed is something that's been going on for centuries and even still encouraged by some professionals. The shame is that Aaron USED to be completely sleep trained and independent in his sleep. BUT when I got pregnant with Micah, Aaron got sick one day and Seong and I said to each other... just this ONCE, let's let him sleep with us. JUST ONCE turned into a year. I had some serious separation issues with Aaron when I was pregnant with Micah... like I had to call in sick some days because I just couldn't leave him to go to work.
The worst part is that we really really love it. There have been some moments, during the middle of the night where Aaron would kick me upside the head, that I would hate it OR some nights where I can't do anything in my bedroom until he falls asleep. But overall, once he's asleep we can usually go about our business as usual... tv, bath, laptops, etc. since he's such a heavy sleeper.
The worst part has been explaining to my friends who have watched me sleep train Aaron from when he was 3 months old to have him completely indepedent in his sleep. I mean WHO DOES THIS? Who goes backwards like this? Ahhh... the humiliation!
Now, Micah is 6 months old and I'm not longer pregnant and don't have these separation issues and we've been talking about getting Aaron into his OWN bed in his OWN room for sometime now. But it just never seemed like the right time. Micah's birth was a huge transition on its own.Then we went through the whole potty training phase. Then we put our house for sale, and then came the holidays. But now that Aaron is turning 3 and because I've been hearing more and more stories of families who's children are TEN and are STILL sleeping in their parents bed, I think the time has come!!
I know this won't be easy. We've been preparing and preparing and it's taking A LOT of time, energy and money! First we had to bring the crib back into Aaron's room for Micah. He was just getting a little to big for the pack n' play and he already LOVES his roomier, pimped out crib. Then we had to bring the mattress that was buried in our garage into Aaron's room and rearrange the room to fit both a crib and a twin sized bed. Then came all the stuff we needed to buy. I mean, what the freak... just to get a 3 year old a bed, we've had to buy a pillow, pillowcase, duvet, duvet cover, fitted sheet, waterproof mattress pad, etc. AND we STIll don't even have a "bed" for him. We've been looking into buying just a headboard, but then we'd have to buy a bed frame and then a boxspring, etc. ARG! As for now, we've got the mattress just on the floor in his room.
Now the hard part... getting him to actually SLEEP in his new bed in his room!! We've talked to him about the bed, but haven't pushed him. He was interested in taking his nap in his bed this afternoon, but then Micah was sleeping in his crib and Aaron was being a little loud while trying to fall asleep that he woke up Micah! ARG! I don't know how to do this... After all this, I'm beginning to wonder if it's even a good idea for the boys to share a room!?!?!?!
Here's a couple of before and after pictures:
these two pictures are BEFORE if you can excuse the mess
and this is is AFTER:
I'm most surprised by how much room there is with both the crib and the bed. I thought there would only be a couple of feet between them, but there's tons of room for Micah to play. Ironically, Aaron LOVES his crib since we've moved it back and was playing all afternoon in it. But as I look at this picture, I can hear my FIL yelling at me that those photo frames and letters will fall on my children's heads and subsequently kill them during an earthquake!
January 15, 2008
The start of a brand new year...
It's been a difficult start to the new year. First, Aaron got a fever on new year's eve. But we had our church's new year's eve service to attend and Seong and I really wanted to go, but since Aaron was sick and I was feeling like I was getting sick, I really didn't feel that we should go. But Seong insisted, which he never really does, that we need to go as a family to start of the new year and I agreed in theory, but was very reluctant and went. The next day Aaron got even more sick, I then got sick... more sick then I've been in a very long time, then Micah got sick... and somewhere along the way, Aaron's cousin, Aidan got sick, then my brother in law AND Aaron's other cousin, Monica got sick, then my sister in law, AND then my father in law and my mom. Then in a perfect full circle moment, Aaron got sick all over again this past weekend with a fever of 105 degreeS! Needless to say, the first two weeks of 2008 have been really quite difficult and a little depressing...
Other than the ubiquitous flu epidemic, we've been really quite busy. Aaron is turning three years old... did you catch that? THREE years old. We're having a little party next week that's turning into a bigger party then I had wanted and he will hopefully start preschool the following week! We visited a few preschools in our area and found one that we really really like and feel good about. I'm most nervous about his separation anxiety, but since the day we visited, I've been talking to him about it and all the fun, exciting things that preschool will allow him to do and he's been reassuring me that he will go by himself and he won't cry. We'll just see about that...
Micah just turned 6 months... FINALLY! And in the midst of his sickness and runny nose and congestion, he decided to sit up independently... FINALLY! This is the day I've been waiting for the past 6 months! I don't know what it is about this particular skill, maybe just a step closer to me NOT having to hold him all the time? Then over the weekend, he decided to get on all fours and started rocking back and forth. It was an all too familiar motion... Aaron did that about 2 weeks before he started crawling! AHHHHH! DO NOT START CRAWLING MICAH!